Red Christmas
by Yaten Aisha Zel and Hee-chan
Summary: Very violent Heero. Parody of "A Christmas Story"


Red Christmas  
  
By: Hee-chan  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing. Blah blah blah, you know the drill. (I also don't own "A Christmas Carol" That's Charles Dickens' property  
  
Authors Note: My revenge on Yaten has come! HAHAHA! Heero rules all! The apocalypse is here! Wahahaha!  
  
Yaten: (backing away slowly)  
  
Zel: Yay! Revenge fic!  
  
Hee-chan: See, Zel's happy!  
  
Aisha: That's because Zel needs revenge on Yaten too.  
  
Hee-chan: We should set up a band of rebels.  
  
Aisha: A rebellion?  
  
Zel: A strike!  
  
Aisha: A strike?  
  
Hee-chan: No food till Yaten dies!  
  
Aisha: You'll starve.  
  
Zel: I'm hungry  
  
Hee-chan: Me too, I want a cookie  
  
Yaten: (from the distance) So much for your hunger strike.  
  
Hee-chan: (While munching on a cookie) Bow to the show! Da da da da da da!! Bam!  
  
Yaten: (Running away screaming)  
  
Setting: In the old counting house, Heero is counting his money greedily.  
  
"One thousand and six, one thousand and seven, one thousand and eight, one thou."  
  
"Umm, excuse me, Heero? Could I have coal for warmth?"  
  
"Get out Quatre!" Heero threw a vase and turned back to his money  
  
"Damn it Quatre, you made me lose count! One, two, three ."  
  
"Hello neighbor!" Duo walked in gleefully, taking off his scarf and coat. "Lovely Christmas Eve eh?"  
  
Yaten: Yay! Duo's here!  
  
Hee-chan: Note to self, do something bad to Duo  
  
"I hate Christmas, I hate happy." Heero mumbled.  
  
Yaten: Bah Humbug  
  
Hee-chan: Not really see, that would make Heero sound gay.  
  
Yaten: But he sounds like that already.  
  
"But Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year! Full of songs and the spirit of giving."  
  
"You know what Duo; take this, from the spirit of Christmas." Heero pulled out his revolver.  
  
"Now neighbor, in the spirit of Christmas." Bang! Duo fell on the floor as Heero blew off the revolver. Quatre ran out of the door.  
  
Yaten: You killed Duo, how could you? (Crying)  
  
Hee-chan: I know he annoys me.  
  
"Quatre! Come back here!" Heero jumped the desk following his apprentice. He ran outside pulling out his revolver he aimed it at Quatre.  
  
Bullets went whizzing by Quatre's head.  
  
Zel: The bullets were peeing?  
  
Hee-chan: Not that whizzing you idiot!  
  
He dodged this one and that one. He made a desperate dive for the corner. A loud bang rang in his ears and cruel maniacal laughing escaped from the distance.  
  
Heero smiled widely. His gift to God, "In the spirit of Christmas, I just dropped the population by two." He walked back into the counting house. "Oh man, I'm going to need a new apprentice. Kisama!" Suddenly, the sound of carolers came through the door. "Aieeee!" Heero fell on the floor twitching in pain.  
  
Yaten: Hah! A weakness!  
  
Hee-chan: Well I couldn't make him immortal, like the God of Death or something.  
  
Yaten: Only one of them, the one and only!  
  
Hee-chan: There was one of them. Hehe  
  
Yaten: Oh my God! You killed Duo! You Baaastard!  
  
Hee-chan: Hee hee!  
  
"Stop the music! Stop the music!" Heero roared in pain. The carolers broke into the Ukrainian Bell carol. Heero quickly grabbed a grenade and hurled it out the window. There was a scream and a loud explosion. Heero stood up with a smile, brushing himself off, he headed home.  
  
Authors Notes: Well that's it! End of chapter one! Let's summarize, Heero has gone homicidal and just killed ten people. Oh well, who the hell needs 'em?  
  
Disclaimer: I still don't own Gundam Wing. If I did I'd make Heero kill Yaten.  
  
Yaten: Hey, not nice.  
  
Hee-chan: Who said I'm nice?  
  
Aisha: *sigh* that was interesting.  
  
Zel: Could we actually get Heero to kill Yaten?  
  
Hee-chan: He'd do it voluntarily.  
  
Yaten: Why do you want to kill me?  
  
Zel: So I can stop this hunger strike.  
  
Yaten: Nah, you need it. Make it under 300lb.  
  
Zel: Die Demon! (Sounds of a chick fight)  
  
Hee-chan: (sipping a coke) could you pass the popcorn?  
  
Aisha: Certainly.  
  
  
  
C&C Appreciated.  
  
Make all reviews to Hee-chan  
  
Thanx,  
  
Hee-chan  
  
(Ps. I urge you to ignore the review from our nameless fellow comrade [no names, right Zel] If she actually wrote something, we wouldn't criticize her.)  
  
Have you ever had questions you wanted to ask your favorite anime character? Well now, we industrious authors are starting a talk show in which you ask the questions. Just e-mail your questions to yazh@gundamwing.org, and we'll get back to you as soon as possible 


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